my old friend sabotage...

I marvel at the ways in which I continue to KNOWINGLY derail my path to wellness. Ah, sabotage... hello old friend.

Take this meditation thing. I KNOW it's what I need in my life. It's week nine of The Project. Guess how many times I've sat for meditation? Just guess...no not that high... what?, not quite,... you know what I'll just tell you: four. That's right 4.
F-O-U-R times. That's not very many is it? No it's not. And I'm really trying not to do the shame thing. Wanna cut that out altogether but SERIOUSLY- 4?!

I had the opportunity to go to Kripalu earlier this year where I meditated every day AT LEAST once. I felt more calm, more focused, just generally happier and I was determined- I was RESOLVED to make it part of my daily practice... did I keep it up? No. Then the Project. "Hooray" I'm thinking, "meditation is a component and now I'll finally get to practicing meditation!"

So here I am. Week nine- almost week ten. Why am I denying myself the opportunity to really tune into myself? It's a big question... I have a few theories on the answer but rather than go into all that, perhaps I should just go sit....