bummer

Being injured is frustrating. My foot is causing me some discomfort and I'm having to back off of the Project workouts, which had been helping me feel connected to my own vitality. Now, I'm also doing a show right now which is really fun and physical, but I feel like when I'm not on stage I should be off my feet.

I reached out via email to a friend of mine in another state who does Reiki and asked if she would send some distance healing to my bum heel and she sent me a response I'd like to share:

Feet are connected to our understanding- of self, of life, and of others. Injuries to the feet can be related to a fear of the future and not stepping forward in life.

She also shared the following affirmation:

My understanding is clear, and I am willing to change with the times.
I am safe.
I move forward in life with joy and with ease.
I stand in truth.
I have spiritual understanding.

Sometimes it's good to get another perspective on what's nagging you...

to be continued...

un-stress fracture

My right foot has been nagging me for some time. Ever since I performed in Macbeth in 3-inch heels in the fall. But I thought it was just a muscular thing... my feet were just sore from the unhealthy demands I placed on them for 5 weeks, often twice a day and sometimes 3 times a day.

In December I had backed off the running- not due to pain, just lack of will power to get out and DO it. Come January, however, I was running again. About 4 weeks ago I stopped running outside and on the track and moved exclusively to elliptical machines. This time it WAS due to pain. I got a little worried. As it happens I'm in rehearsals for a farce right now, and farce is a style of comedy which is often very physical and involves a lot of running around and door-slamming. I called a podiatrist and a few weeks later I was sitting in his office awaiting my fate...

That was Monday of this week.

I have a stress fracture in my right heel. I am making an effort to remain un-stressed about it. Honestly I think I'm experiencing more discomfort adjusting to the boot I have to wear when I'm not in rehearsals!! I'm sure if you've had the pleasure of wearing one of these things you know exactly what I'm talking about!

I'm still hitting the gym- Rob helps me figure out good modifications for some things... you know, 'cause plyometric stuff is pretty much out. I'm grateful for the project right now. I find I can get a twinge of depression hobbling around, not being able to take our pup on long walks... the workouts keep me sane and remind me of my ability.

I'm going into tech rehearsals today. We open next week. It's challenging to be patient!! But I tell myself as often as I can that this too shall pass... and that I'm okay. It's no big deal. Just a little stress fracture...

hope you are all feeling well.

xo...jen

hello will!...

I've been introduced recently to a new friend... or maybe it's more like a distant cousin, I mean we've always been related. Yes, it's like a distant cousin I've always been aware of... but never really liked... and I didn't know we belonged to the same book club... and now, we've read a book one of us adores and the other abhors and I look up and say, "oh, it's you- now we have to reckon with this" no no no, we're distant cousins who meet at the same 4-way stop at the same time and I think I have the right of way and she thinks she has the right of way and we both proceed into the intersection causing an accident and I get out of the car, wobbly and with a pounding headache, wagging my finger as I approach her window saying, "oh it's you! what the heck do you think you're doing pulling out when I had the right of way?!"

OK, the metaphor is lost. Where am I going with this?

Let me put this plainly: I have been reckoning with my will power these past few days. And it is a force to be reckoned with, let me tell you! I've noticed during my runs that I have less of a sense of dread about just running- you know, about how my legs or my lungs or my heart will handle the task, and more a sense of dis-ease thinking about how long I have to be out there. This is where I've met my will. We have interesting dialogues about such things as, "Old Patterns" and "General Discomfort", but our favorite topic is "Which One of Us is Stronger".

I think I'm really breaking through something here. I've decided to make will power my ally. Today I was pushing my pace a bit and a part of me really wanted to back off, really thought I couldn't keep it up and then a funny thing happened... I let the chatter continue as long as it needed to and I just kept moving my legs... I just kept going. Finally the chatter died down and I felt a new kinship with myself. Oh- hello will!

happy recovery week.

walden farms...

hello all! it was great being with so many of you this morning. thank you for your presence in this community, it's an invaluable part of my life!

on to business!:

i've added the Walden Farms home page to the "check this out" section of my blog (to your right)... you'll see they have a lot of other products available as well. we have branched out beyond the dressings a time or two (or shall I say Rob has... he has a much more adventurous spirit for the fat-free, calorie-free world than I do!!), but we've found their dressings are the best. we haven't tried them all though! so explore at will and let us know if you come up with any other goodies we should know about!

one thing I noticed about the website is just how many different dressings they have! typically we find the ranch, caesar, honey dijon, thousand island, blue cheese, raspberry vinaigrette, and italian in local stores. also- I believe they are cheaper in stores than online. (often Meier will have one or more flavors on sale!)

my favorites are ranch (I love to mix this with balsamic vinegar and cracked pepper), honey dijon (yummy!), blue cheese (toss in some lite feta from Trader Joe's and you'll feel like you're eating the real thing!), thousand island (great on the lo-cal reuben {recipe coming soon}), and raspberry vinaigrette. so... basically I like 'em all... though Rob's the only caesar fan in the house...

I hope you'll find this helpful in varying flavors for salads and other dishes... check it out!!

namaste

back-in-blog

well it's nearly the end of week 2 and I'm finally dusting off the old blog, and I have this to say...

1. workouts are hard.
2. weighing and counting food is... not the most fun.
3. feeling the support of a community of brave, empowered souls who are feeling the same thing is awesome!

so I guess IT'S ALL GOOD(a great teacher I know taught me that one)

Hey! here's something I learned this week- it's partly a confession actually... so I ran on Wednesday... on... a fancynewtreadmillatmygym. there I said it. but here's what was great- I learned that I pushed myself harder on that machine than I did on running outside last week.

Quick sidebar: I have slipped a bit in the past few months on my running- no excuses? I found plenty of them! but I keep reminding myself that I'm training a puppy- that's me- and I'm back in it again to work at really creating new patterns for myself.

So what I really appreciated about this fancy new treadmill was that I could keep track of my pace and steadily increase as I proceeded through the run... I became aware of the fact that I'm not at a place with my cardio work yet to be able to steadily increase my pace the entire way, I had to pull off a touch in the 40-50 minute range, I just don't have the endurance built up yet. I figure I can use the machine on Wednesdays for a while to help train me and push me. Like I said, no way would I have pushed myself as hard on my own yesterday.

Now for the "attachment disclaimer". If, for whatever reason I can't get to the gym, or it's a beautiful day or whatever the reason- I will freely abandon the plan to run outside... I just think for the next few weeks I can learn a lot from it.

Train that puppy!!

Chopra, Obama, Kest, oh my!

What a week. What a HALF-week! We'll begin on Wednesday: in the morning I performed 2 shows, Wednesday afternoon a fellow castmate and I spent a couple of hours volunteering for the Obama campaign and Wednesday night I had the pleasure of hearing Deepak Chopra speak from the 3rd row. The next morning I picked up my volunteer buddy, we headed to the Obama rally with our priority tickets- as we were walking to the Mall a vendor stopped us and gave us free hats for being "beautiful ladies". Once inside the gates we walked to about 15yds from the podium to await our future president! We saw other theatre friends- including my husband who came down just in time to hear Obama speak and brought us almonds and water to quiet our rumbling tummys! (He's the best!) Thursday night I attended the Brian Kest workshop- which I loved and pretty much spent all day Friday recovering from! The ultimate cherry on top, of course, was Chris's class Saturday morning... the perfect quad-fecta!!

What a time. I am so grateful to have had the opportunities I've had this week to be in the presence of some profound teachers. Much of this came together so last minute, I felt like I was riding a wave... and all I asked of myself was to BE IN IT. I am positively humming from these experiences. It's funny, the overriding message(s) are mutually inclusive: embrace your connectedness to all things. be present. be accountable. be compassionate.

I'd love to share more but I've gotta get to the theatre.... the show must go on!

no excuses: 1 sabotage: 0

Let me start by saying my husband is a rock star.

He started this week running a 1/2 marathon in our neighborhood- interval style!- and breaking his personal best time. He has been in tech (final rehearsals) for his show every day and in previews of that show every night... a show, I should add, that is technically HUGE. He has continued his workouts every day and today he agreed to do the strength workout during his 2-hour dinner break before his final dress performance so that we could do it together. He is my hero...

So, I started rehearsals for my next show this week. It meant a lot that we could work out together today as we've been on different schedules all week. We did not complete the abs section- due to time constraints and both decided to do them on our own tomorrow.

After dropping Rob off at the theatre, I came home, fed our pup, looked through the mail... you know, the usual comin' home stuff, and then I came into the office to check my email for tomorrow's rehearsal schedule. I have so much to work on tonight for rehearsal tomorrow, so many more lines to continue to learn... I'm called at 10:30. Lunch break 1:00-2:00, 6:00 end of day. Now on any other day I would plan to do my workout in the evening but tomorrow is opening night of Rob's show. There's always a party opening night- lots of theatre folk and other friends... it's a fun night, obviously I'm not missin' out on that!!

So I did what I had to do.

Muttering unpleasantries, I rolled out the yoga mat and did the abs workout. Then I put on my running gear, grabbed the dog and her leash and took her with me for an easy run.

So. While sabotage is still a part of my psyche- and I have so enjoyed the thoughts shared by my fellow test-pilots... there's another voice in there now too. A voice telling me it's up to me... how I look, how I feel mentally and physically, how I choose to live each day. Every day, it's up to me. Well, today it's no excuses: 1 sabotage: 0

namaste friends...